May 20, 2002 - "To the Brothers" from josh
25And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her-Ephesians 5:25
wow. What a verse to read as a college guy. Not only is it challenging, but it kinda makes you wonder if you could ever get close to being a Godly guy. We always hear the "wives submit to your husbands" and stop there. How can you stop there? Guys, we are called to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Now there's a responsibility. So we say, okay, first let me get a girlfriend, then I'll learn to love her like that. Ok guys, I'm gonna be hard on us for a little while, but follow me for a sec. Look at these United States of America right now. Why is the divorce rate at 1 in 3 couples?* Why are there so many rapes and molestations. No, I don't have any true answer to this problem except for the fact that we live in a sinful world. But, I do know how we can help. Where are the fathers to tell their daughters that they're beautiful because God made them? Yes, we're not Fathers yet. But, this attitude can start now. It goes like this::::God has given us females as a gift. They are His. They are a blessing. They are beautiful because He made them, not because of anything we say or think. If you're like me, you wonder, how can we show our friends of the girl type what they're worth. The first step is this: PURSUE GOD WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART. Unless Jesus Christ is our first love, any girl can easily become an idol ::anything that takes ultimate priority in your heart.
18Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us. 19We love each other[1] as a result of his loving us first. +1 John 4:18
our love for each other must be as a result of Him first loving us. That especially means loving our female friends. Do you want a Godly woman? Stop. I challenge you with the challenge that has been given to me. Pursue God with all of your heart and let Him be your everything. So that sounds very cliche. Jesus said that those who love Him obey His commands. Make sure you're giving God the very best of your time in the quiet times and let that time fuel your entire day. Our girls desperately need guys who are more concerned with pointing them to the Lord then being potential husbands. We always describe this amazing powerful God, yet we have so much trouble trusting Him with relationships. I love this! "God'll bring her to me, so I don't have to search." -dc Talk. I believe that with all of my heart. Yet, it's a daily struggle to learn to love Jesus above anything else. Everyday, I learn how different my definition of love is from His. Guys, why do we have to be patient? God not only wants us to save sex, but to save our minds and all of ourselves for our future wives? What kind of a Savior wants that. Let be real :the consequences are so high. So very much depends on us being lovers of the Lord. The world is aching for men who are ready to lead as servants of the Lord. Being a man doesn't have anything to do with how much muscle you sport or what girl you can hang with or what colour guitar strings you have. A real man is defined by one who is totally dependant on God for His every move. So, it sounds weak huh? Who's the weak one (A) the guy who is self dependent and strong , or, (B) the guy who realizes how weak he is and leans on an almighty God. Are you really weak then? Not a chance. Seek God for your convictions and be based on Him day to day, step by step. Guys it will be so hard at times. God tells us earlier in Ephesians 5 to not even get into any coarse talk. OUR MINDS WILL BE TEMPTED. Period. It will happen. Sometimes, Satan will turn even your best friends into a target for lust. When that happens remember this verse, "19It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord, 20even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." +1 John 3:19-20
when our minds and feelings fail, run straight to the Lord. It's not a sin to be tempted, it's a sin not to give that thought to the Lord. Strive to give your future wife a pure mind. God promises us it will be worth it. You're not alone. I can tell you that all three of us have to deal with this. The girls in our society need guys who are willing to admit their weakness and rely on God's strength to keep our minds pure. I want to leave you with this quote from Rebecca St. James:: "definitely above anything, I want him (future husband) to have such a passion for God that I just look at him and see him having his time with God and I'm like ahhh and it inspires me to grow in my love for God, that's what I want in my man." Guys, it's not a lost cause, it's the awesome gift we've been given. To be real for the Lord and be the brothers He wants us to be. Never give up. When you see her coming up the aisle, it will be worth it. When you're able to truly be a brother to a sister in need, it's worth it. When you can see the face of God day to day and see that He loves you. It's worth it. Don't give in. this love life rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 30, 2002 - "Sixteen ways to know if it's Love" from chris
We all hit that point in our lives where we think we "love" someone. But how do you know for sure? I've done some research in the Bible about this topic, and I hope I can help you out here. Also, I've had a lor of past relationships that I thought was love, but wasn't. I'd like to share from my life and the Bible to help answer common questions about love, and if you really are "in love" with someone.
Love is patient - Are you patient with this love? Can you wait for this person as long as it takes? Look deep inside and ask yourself , "Is he/she worth waiting for?" Love is kind - You cannot love someone and treat them badly all the time. If you truly love this person with the right kind of love, then you will want to do everything you can do make that person feel special and loved. Love does not envy - at first, most relationships go through a period of jealousy. That's perfectly natural, if it is merely a period of jealousy, rather than a lifestyle of jealousy. Gradually you will learn to let this person have their own time, and it won't bother you as much, because you care for them. Love does not boast - there is a difference between being grateful for a relationship and being boastful about it. I think it's a guy thing to examine other relationships and see why you treasure your relationship. I think that's ok, as long as you don't think that your relationship is better than anyone else's. Remember, you don't deserve this relationship, just be grateful for it. Love is not proud - what do you have that is yours to be proud of? It's all from God. If you find yourself proud or arrogant because of something, ask yourself why you are proud of it. It's not like you did anything to be proud of on your own. Love is not rude - this goes along with "love is kind". I don't care what your background is, you have no right to treat the person you love wrongly. If you truly love this person, you will show it, and not merely say it. Love is not self-seeking - this one hurts a lot of relationships. Examine your relationship or the relationship you are thinking about. Why do you want this relationship? If you are in it just for physical reasons, get out. Love is patient, remember? Think about why you supposedly "love" this person. Love is not easily angered - people will have their disagreements and occasional fights. But if you are constantly fighting with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you may want to rethink the relationship. You need someone who loves you for you, not someone who will constantly cut you down or get into meaningless fights. Most relationships that have constant disagreements end in breakups or divorce. Love keeps no record of wrongs - this one can hurt, too. I'm sure there's a few folks reading this little study who have been cheated on before. That hurts in a different way than any other hurt. It's rejection, ignoring the love that you gave that person. It hurts. But can you forgive them if they are sorry for it? If you do have frequent arguments, does he/she bring up past wrongs? Love does not do that. Love does not delight in evil - a recent idea for dating has been to wait until marriage to kiss. This doesn't work for some people, and that's ok. That's between them and God. But the thought behind that principle is to make sure that you are dating this person for the right reasons. I know that physical things cloud your view. You think that you love this person, but in reality you love being physical with this person. Can you give up physical things for this person? Physical things do lead to things that could end up being sin, or evil. Notice I said that it could lead to things that could end up being evil. Physical things may not be evil in themselves, but be careful. That's why sometimes it is better to leave the physical aspect of relationships out completely. Be sure to stay away from temptations, because love does not like evil. Love rejoices with the truth - Ultimately, God must BE the relationship, not merely be IN it. If God didn't bring you together, chances are you won't stay together. Your relationship must line up with God's truth and His will. If your date doesn't make you want to be godly, get rid of them. Love always protects - Love protects from harm of course, but also from destruction. This lines up with "love does not delight in evil". Love will forfeit certain things in order to protect the one it loves. Love always trusts - if you don't trust your date, you don't love them. It's as simple as that. True love will trust without question. Real love, God's love, trusts because it is based on God, not your own actions. Love always hopes - we will have our doubts and questions, and that's ok. But love knows it will be ok in the end. Deep down, do you have a peace about everything, no matter what happens? Love hopes, always. Love always perseveres - love can make it through anything because of its other qualities. Love will wait, trust, keep no records of wrongs, and so on. Will your "love" make it through anything, no matter what? Love never fails - if you truly love someone, it's God's love and not yours. God's love never fails. That's how we know that ours won't, because if we truly love someone the right way, it's God's love. Why and how do you love him/her?
This whole study came from 1 Corinthian 13 (a.k.a. the Love chapter). The Bible is the best place to go for answers. I hope this helped some of you guys. I know it helped me!
- chris
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