lately with myself (josh), chris, and ben, the subjects of our purpose and focus have come up again and again. This is one of the struggles in my own walk with the Lord. What am I doing? Have you ever sat on your bed and prayed again and again, Lord, is my heart with You? Am I serving You with everything I have? And i read the Bible and pray again and again. But, i keep feeling so inadequate before a Holy God. This same God i?ve talked to, whined to, cried to, asked, and praised is the God who new just how many muscles to put in my legs to bow before Him. And we look at ourselves. Here?s a little poem talking about it? but that fact I see _ is that it doesn?t exist questioning it never ends_what is ?it? because deep down I?m questioning me my thoughts never leave this genre of thinking that He believes in me more than I do the more I beat myself the more I steal from the nail-scarred hand +restore me and break my chains because I can, no I will rock this world for You do we really serve a God who believes in us more than ourselves? We?re told constantly, you?ve got to believe in yourself, but I find that this belief leaves me short. Believe in someone who has lied, cheated, lusted, hated, stolen? again and again. Picture a mirror in front of yourself. You can see the filth. But, we suddenly see Jesus step in the way of this mirror. We of course ask Jesus why He is doing this and why He can?t just save us and let us be who we need to be. But then He takes our sins upon Himself? Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sins of the world (John 1:29b) the whole point is this:::: WE CAN?T LOOK AT OURSELVES WITH OUR OWN EYES!!!! yes, our mistakes are terrible and we can?t just downplay them. Why? Jesus died on a Roman cross for these sins we attempt to belittle. But, the fact is that He endured death and, as He said, ?it is finished!? it?s over. He defeated our sins. Who is Christ?::: the author and finisher of our faith. (Hebrews 12:13) Will we still struggle with sin? Yup. Will we still find ourselves weeping at the foot of the cross and wondering if somehow we can serve God with our entire existence. Be sure of it! But, we must depend on this God who is so powerful and faithful, and rest in the fact that He is working in us and through us to glorify Himself. I love the lyrics chris wrote for the song MOVE::: I do believe _cause I wanna see You alive in me _ come set me free Jon Foreman of SWITCHFOOT (http://www.switchfoot.com) said, ?I want to be obedient, but I know obedience isn?t even possible apart from God?s Spirit. I want to seek God, to wait for Him, and to place myself right underneath the waterfall of what He?s doing around me. If revival is knowing God on a deeper level, then revival is what I want.? It takes that painful mirror of looking inside and seeing the brokenness and the depth of pain that lurks in places where no one sees. It?s going to hurt many times. But Jesus promised us that He will always be with us. (Matthew 28:20) We must look through the lens of a Christ who loves us so much that He defeated our fallacies and is making us more like Him. He knows our pains and terrors because He has felt everyone of them. Does God believe in us more then we do? Yup, but do we believe in Him? Do you know this Jesus who cleans our lives for His glory? Forgiveness is a promise to you if you want to accept it. He couldn?t love you any more or any less because His love never ends? do you know this Man? If you don?t, His love is waiting for your response? to trust in a God you can?t physically see or touch. To surrender your life to serving Him. Talk to Him right now, He will hear. Get a hold of the Bible and read in the book of John about this Man. If you need anyone to talk to, call 1-888-need-Him (24/7) or email one the guys at ESOD 5 and we would love to communicate about this Lord we serve, with you! josh, ben, chris